You’ve met someone on a site or app for making friends and now you’re about to meet in person. But how do you make conversation?
First-date nerves go beyond romantic settings: we tend to feel nervous in all new social situations. Even when pursuing platonic relationships, pauses in conversation or jokes that don’t quite land feel just as anxious—but don’t worry! There’s no need to prepare an entire book of conversation topics, but keeping the following in mind will ease your nerves and allow for a natural exchange over coffee, wine, or wherever you are.
Don’t Neglect the Basics
Remember that conversations with new people will always be a bit stiff at first, but don’t be intimidated.
Small talk is a good starting point for deeper connections. Asking your new friend how work or class went today, or if yoga was good, might not mean you’re destined to be platonic soulmates, but commonality will help spark feelings of belonging.
Try to understand what you have in common from the start of your conversation, and it will flow much more smoothly.
Ask for Advice
If you need to call a friend for advice, well, here’s your chance!
Asking people their opinion on personal matters, big or small, lets them know you’re comfortable in their company. Allowing yourself to be somewhat vulnerable also enables a deeper connection.
Also, since a new friend won’t yet have a broad view of your life and character, they’ll likely give you an honest and objective answer.
Overall, remind yourself that making new meaningful connections often requires pushing yourself beyond your comfort zone. You might feel a bit shaken during your first outing with a new friend, but we bet you’ll feel euphoric by the end of it!